Author Archives: OMGG

Paris Hilton has been criticized by PETA for treating animals like accessories. But what if it were the other way around?

OMGG.com has learned that the hit song Gangnam Style was originally written as a company jingle for one of the world’s largest apparel retailers.

“In Korean, Gangnam means ‘generic’,” explained Psy, the artist behind the catchy tune. “And nothing says Gangnam like Gap’s moderately-priced clothing.”

The song’s music video, featuring flamboyant Asians frolicking around in tacky menswear, recently became the most-downloaded YouTube video of all time.

“It’s been our most effective ad campaign since that irritating Khaki Swing commercial,” said Gap’s VP of Marketing, William DeClonce. “Since Gangnam went viral, our sales increased 400% among pudgy South Korean men.”

KFC? More like GAY-F-C!

After Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy publicly admitted he was opposed to gay marriage, its finger-lickin’ good competitor decided to let their rainbow flag fly.

KFC spokesman Aaron French told OMGG.com that not only does the fast food chain support same sex marriage, they’ve been breeding homosexual chickens since the 1970s.

“We’ve noticed that cooping the males together keeps them relaxed and quiet,” French said. “It’s like Colonel Sanders used to say, ‘More f#cking means less clucking’.”

When Matthew Perry first saw the trailer for his new NBC sitcom Go On, he was horrified.

“I had that same smug look on my face I had during my 10-year run as Chandler Bing,” the actor told OMGG.com. “No wonder I’m always typecast as a self-loathing, sarcastic dickhead.”

This morning, the 43-year old underwent facial reconstructive surgery to correct the glaring defect.

“He came in here with such a cocky smirk on his face, I nearly didn’t go through with the procedure,” plastic surgeon Dr. Harold Rosen told reporters. “He’s recovering nicely, though, and moments ago was even able to smile for the first time!”

A beautiful woman was gawked at by confused nerds recently after she accidentally walked into the San Diego Convention Center during Comic-Con.

“I got the days mixed up and thought there was a flower show in town,” explained 25-year old Amanda Windson. “Next thing I know, I’m bombarded by geeks asking if they can take a photo of me.”

Despite being surrounded by hundreds of morbidly obese men dressed in superhero costumes, it was hard to miss the buxom blonde as she scurried towards the exit.

“I felt kind of bad for her, to be honest,” said Star Trek aficionado Justin Harlan. “Everywhere she walked, a trail of masturbating virgins were right behind her.”

He’s comically chubby, with orange skin and a goofy wig…but Donald Trump insists he isn’t a clown.

“Why do Americans keep ignoring my Obama warnings?” the billionaire asked OMGG.com. “Isn’t anyone concerned that I have a hunch he’s an uneducated, Kenyan-born terrorist?”

Like a desperate 12-year old girl, the Celebrity Apprentice host took to social media this morning seeking even more attention.

“If u guys luv obama ima hurt myself,” Trump tweeted. “srsly guyz, ima jump off that fiscal cliff they’re talkin bout on the news.”

Two and a Half Men “star” Angus T. Jones came under fire for begging viewers to stop watching his show recently, calling it “filth.”

While OMGG.com’s entire staff agreed that this was solid advice, we’ve learned that Jones has since recanted, claiming he was brainwashed by a cult.

“Angus realized that without those paychecks, he’d be doling out handjobs for beer money by the time he turned 30,” Jon Cryer told us. “He’s currently being bathed in Holy Water by (show creator) Chuck Lorre.”

This morning, Ashton Kutcher weighed in on his young co-star’s breakdown.

“Leave the kid alone, it’s absolute torture being on this god-awful program,” the sexy star said. “Ever since Charlie Sheen left, the show is completely unwatchable!”

Hillary Clinton came under fire last week for falling asleep during President Obama’s speech to the people of Myanmar.

Today, the 65-year old explained that she just finds the president boring.

“Oh wow, he passed Obamacare and saved the auto industry,” Clinton said as she yawned. “Wake me up when someone tosses a shoe at him, or he gets a bj from an intern.”

The Secretary of State said that although Obama is a fine president, he’s missing the “wow factor” that others have brought to the Oval Office.

“Truth is, I voted for (Mitt) Romney,” Clinton told OMGG.com. “At least that guy was full of charisma!”