MUSIC

Flavor Flav has a new Public Enemy – Daylight Saving.

After gaining an extra hour Sunday morning, the rapper announced plans to lobby before Congress to end the inevitable advancing of clocks next summer.  He says that although the practice is constitutional, it’s “extremely inconvenient.”

Flav’s publicist, Jessica Mardones, explained that her client has a collection of over 1300 oversized clock necklaces, forcing him to waste countless hours “springing forward” and “falling back” each year. 

“It takes him forever to reset all those clocks,” Mardones explained. “Without Daylight Saving, imagine how much more time he’d have to film sh*tty VH1 reality shows!”

After his laptop was stolen during a tour stop in Tacoma, Justin Bieber sent a tweet admitting the PC was full of “personal footage.”

Curious teenage girls everywhere began to wonder — does the computer contain pictures of the elusive ‘Bieber boner’?

As luck would have it, 15-year old juvenile delinquent and OMGG.com intern Lisa Johnstone admitted she was the one who swiped the singer’s Sony Vaio after attending the Washington concert.

When we announced that we’d be releasing an exclusive naked photo, one man seemed even more distraught than Biebs himself.

“The timing of my conviction couldn’t be worse…there’s no internet access in here!” cried recently-jailed pedophile Jerry Sandusky. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

Less than a week after Nicki Minaj threatened Mariah Carey’s life during the Charlotte auditions, things took a tragic turn on the set of American Idol moments ago.

What began as a swearing match between the two divas, ended in gunfire.

“We were yelling like we always do, when Keith (Urban) just started shooting,” a shocked Carey told OMGG.com. “He can be such an attention whore sometimes.”

The wounded country star accidentally shot himself in the leg, but is said to be recovering nicely at Cedars-Sinai Hospital.

“I just needed to get away from all the bickering,” admitted the wounded country star. “It was starting to feel like I was trapped in an episode of Basketball Wives.”

Ke$ha can see right through her new man.

The 25-year old went on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show yesterday to reveal that her new song, Supernatural, is about her sexual experiences with a ghost.

OMGG.com investigators were shocked to discover that the sexy singer even taped the spooky encounter.

“I was in love with that beautiful ghoul,” explained Ke$ha. “Unfortunately, he stopped floating around here after I gave him gonorrhea.”

When Duncan Johnstone heard that Carrie Underwood gave a 12-year old his first kiss during a recent concert in Kentucky, he knew what he had to do.

The 38-year old superfan bought tickets to the singer’s upcoming Fargo, ND stop where he plans to jump onstage and ask her to take his virginity.

The software engineer told OMGG.com that he reads Underwood’s blog religiously, and the star claims she’ll do anything for her fans.

“It’s a longshot that she’ll want to make love in front of all them people, but you never know unless you try,” said Johnstone. “I’m just hoping her security team doesn’t ruin it by stepping in and cockblocking me.”

Digital Domain, the visual effects company that built an optical illusion of Tupac Shakur at this year’s Coachella music festival, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last week.

“Unfortunately, Hologram Tupac didn’t come through for us like we thought he would,” said Digital Domain spokeswoman Lisa Dahg. “In fact, he hasn’t released a single hit since he was shot in 1996.”

OMGG.com caught up with the rapper’s 3D image, who says he’s been working part-time at Taco Bell “to help pay the bills.”

“Landing a corporate job in this economy has been tough with all my tattoos,” the down-and-out hologram explained. “I’ve been saving up, though, and plan to have them digitally removed by my boys at Kodak next week.”

After Chris Brown had ex-girlfriend Rihanna’s likeness inked on his neck last week, people called it the “dumbest tattoo of all time.”

Clearly, the public had underestimated the R&B singer’s stupidity.

OMGG.com has learned that this morning, the 23-year old had the face of rival crooner Drake permanently scrawled on his left side, just below his jawline.

“I won’t stop until every inch of my neck is covered in people I beat up,” Brown explained. “I’m leaving the area around my Adam’s apple untouched for now, reserving that for my accountant’s face after I go bankrupt in three years.”

Former Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst was booted from his seat at WWE’s SummerSlam last night, allegedly for flashing his middle finger towards the camera.

“Those reports are completely false,” insisted WWE President and CEO, Vince McMahon. “We had Fred removed because we didn’t want anyone to accidentally associate that loser with our organization.”

The “musician,” and we use that term loosely, told OMGG.com he was saddened to hear the crowd cheer as he was ushered out by security guards.

“I’d be the ideal ambassador for the WWE because I have a lot in common with their sport,” said Durst. “We’re both loud, fake and adored by middle-aged white men with questionable taste.”