Birth Certificate Reveals Captain America is Actually Canadian
Captain America: The First Avenger director Joe Johnston let out a shocking secret this morning.
“In researching the film, I discovered that Steve Rogers, the soldier pumped full of serum who became Captain America, was actually born in Toronto,” said Johnston.
Stephen Harper, the Prime Minister of Canada, called a press conference this afternoon to express his joy. “This is a great day to be a Canuck!” he exclaimed. “Bear in mind that until this announcement, Celine Dion was sadly our country’s biggest star.”
Reactions haven’t been as positive stateside.
Upon hearing the news, country singer Toby Keith revealed that next week he’ll be releasing a new song, My Only Heroes are U, S and A. He went on to express his desire to “stick my boot up Captain America’s ass.”
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