BREAKING NEWS: 93% of Homosexuals Now Against Gay Marriage

Well, they gave it a shot.

This afternoon, homosexuals marched on Capitol Hill en masse to protest a bill that legalized gay marriage in New York just one month ago.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” explained Brooklyn-born Stuart Tang. “After marrying my partner Daniel this weekend, he’s already put on weight and has begun leaving the toilet seat up.”

New Yorkers aren’t the only ones unhappy.

Gay Californians have expressed their desire to pass Prop 9 in the November elections, which proposes a ban on “opposite marriage.”