Hanson’s New Venture: MMMBeer
Out-of-touch and overweight, the Hanson brothers are finally retiring from the boy band business.
“We realized we couldn’t keep up with Bieber or the Jonas’ anymore,” explained Zac, the once adorable drummer. “So we’re trading in our lyrics for lager.”
The former tween heartthrobs announced yesterday that they have decided to start brewing their own beer — cleverly named MMMhop IPA.
“I haven’t been sober since our popularity nosedived 10 years ago,” said Isaac, the oldest, creepiest-looking member of the former band. “It’s only fitting that we’re turning my one true talent into a career.”
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