On Wednesday, Donald Trump offered to donate $5 million to a charity of President Obama’s choice if he released his college and passport records by the end of the month.

This morning, the president responded via his twitter feed.

“I’ll pay that bloated piece of sh*t five bucks if he takes that weave off his head,” wrote the leader of the free world.

So far no word back from Mr. Trump, but stay tuned — OMGG.com will be covering this story closely.

Pablo Sandoval hit three home runs in his first three at-bats to lead the San Francisco Giants to an 8-3 win on Wednesday in Game 1 of the World Series.

Team doctor Andrew Brackett said the husky ballplayer was so exhausted he needed to be put on a respirator after the game.

“Pablo’s never been a big fan of exercising,” Brackett told OMGG.com. “Running around the bases three times really took it out of him.”

Moments ago, Sandoval informed the team he’s too tired to start Game 2 tonight, but will consider coming in as a pinch hitter.

“If they decide to use me, I sure as hell won’t be swinging for the fences,” the pudgy third baseman said. “At this point, my body’s one home run away from the 15-day disabled list.”

Last week, Michael Lohan filed a motion to place his troubled daughter under a conservatorship.

A judge ruled that while he agreed Lindsay is unable to care for herself, he wasn’t ready to put her father in charge of the 26-year old’s finances.

Mr. Lohan was passed over for someone the court deemed more mentally fit.

“I opted to put a child star in charge of Lindsay’s assets because I felt they’d be able to relate to one another,” explained the Honorable Judge Peter Gallagher. “I went with Honey Boo Boo, because one look at her and it’s clear she’s not interested in any of the wasteful, lavish spending that got Lindsay into trouble in the first place.”

On Monday morning, bloated real estate mogul Donald Trump told Fox & Friends that he’d be making a big announcement about President Obama today.

OMGG.com hackers broke into the 66-year old’s email account moments ago, and discovered what the Queen of Mean King of Douchebaggery had up his monogrammed sleeve.

Trump, who doesn’t believe Obama was a good student, will be offering $5 million to the president in exchange for copies of his university transcripts.

Shockingly, he isn’t requesting anything from Mitt Romney.

“Mitt doesn’t need the money like Barack,” the billionaire told OMGG.com. “Besides, it’s pretty safe to say he’s well-educated by looking at how white he is.”

According to a small article on page four of the USA Today sports section, the Indiana Fever won the WNBA title on Sunday.

Playing before eleven rowdy fans, Olympic gold medalist and series MVP Tamika Catchings scored 25 points in leading her team to victory.

Christina Tippie led the Minnesota Lynx with 12 points, despite reports that she’s seven months pregnant.

“I’m sad we lost, but at least my husband wasn’t here to see it,” said the 24-year old power forward. “I make him come sometimes, but only a terrible wife would ask him to sit through a WNBA game while football is on.”

Most polls show that Obama handily won the second and third presidential debates, and currently has the edge in key swing states Ohio and Florida.

Hoping to turn things around, Republican candidate Mitt Romney made a desperate plea to the American people this morning.

“Every voter who picks me gets a boat,” he announced as he pointed towards attendees at a rally in Duluth, Minnesota. “You get a boat. You get a boat. You get a boat.”

With the election just weeks away, analysts are worried the “Oprah” strategy will bankrupt the former Massachusetts governor.

Not true, says Romney.

“There’s a reason I refused to release those tax returns,” the 65-year old told OMGG.com. “This giveaway will barely put a dent in my offshore Cayman accounts.”

During this week’s presidential debate, Mitt Romney said that while governor of Massachusetts he was brought “binders full of women” to hire as potential cabinet members.

However, OMGG.com fact-checkers discovered today that those binders were actually used to find Tagg Romney a second wife.

Tagg, easily the creepiest of Romney’s five sons, says none of the books produced anyone that met his criteria.

“I’d like to punch whoever was responsible for putting those binders together for my dad,” the angry Mormon told OMGG.com. “They were full of women my family doesn’t associate with, like liberals, minorities and the poor.”

After learning that a man in North Dakota sold a 20-year old container of McJordan barbecue sauce for $10,000 on eBay, Earl Goodman assumed he was about to be rich.

“McDonald’s had mass-produced that McJordan sauce in the 90s,” explained Goodman. “I recently discovered a jug of the much-rarer McPippen ketchup in my attic.”

Unfortunately for Goodman, the McPippen listing fetched a measly $4 plus shipping.

“Pippen’s ketchup was a lot like the player it was named after,” recalled McDonald’s patron Clarence Billings. “It was above average but too thin; probably never got the respect it deserved because it was the second best condiment at the time.”