On October 23rd, Apple announced it will unveil a smaller, cheaper version of its popular iPad.

OMGG.com investigators recently discovered that such a device actually already exists, and it’s called an iPhone.

We reached out to the California-based company, who admitted they were hoping to “pull a fast one” on their over-zealous followers.

“Truth is, we produced way too many of the iPhone 3Gs a couple years ago,” said CEO Tim Cook. “We figured this would be a good way to unload some inventory.”

Despite Cook’s admission, Apple fanboy Tony Coolures is already waiting in line for the iPad Mini.

“I’m definitely bummed that there’s nothing innovative about it,” the 32-year old told us. “But for some reason, I must be the first person on my block to have one.”

After an MRI revealed a torn triceps, Ray Lewis announced that he’ll miss the rest of the 2012 season.

Many fear that the violent linebacker, who in 2000 was on trial for first degree murder, will become exceedingly dangerous without having football to help keep his aggression at bay.

After skipping the Ravens’ Tuesday morning practice, Lewis confirmed that he’s already thirsting for blood.

“Sadly, the rampage I’m going to go on will cost more than just lives,” the 13-time Pro Bowler told OMGG.com. “Roger Goodell is going to fine the sh*t out of me for what’s about to happen.”

A tearful Derek Jeter announced today that for the remainder of the year, he’ll be forced to focus his attention on having sex with beautiful women.

After breaking his ankle in the AL Championship Series against the Detroit Tigers, the 38-year old baseball star is done playing the game he loves until next spring.

The Yankees shortstop, whose dating past includes Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba and Mariah Carey, said he plans to focus on hooking up with more models this offseason while rehabbing his injury.

Although his sex-filled escapades with countless, flawless females sound enticing to some, Jeter insists he’d rather be on the field winning another World Series with his teammates.

“Playing a game for $15 million a year is my true passion, and that was taken away from me when I got hurt,” insisted the devilishly handsome ballplayer. “Sometimes I feel like the unluckiest man in the world!”

According to most non-Fox News polls, Joe Biden was the clear winner in Thursday’s Vice Presidential debate.

“I felt bad beating up on that little boy,” Joe Biden told OMGG.com. “But after Barack got smacked around last week, I knew I had to get the undecideds back on our side.”

Moderator Martha Raddatz says she wasn’t surprised the 69-year old laughed, scoffed and interrupted Ryan during the debate, but was disappointed in his behavior after the cameras were off.

“He berated Mr. Ryan for being a ‘very bad boy’,” Raddatz said. “Then he draped the young Republican over his knee and started spanking him until he cried.”

After his laptop was stolen during a tour stop in Tacoma, Justin Bieber sent a tweet admitting the PC was full of “personal footage.”

Curious teenage girls everywhere began to wonder — does the computer contain pictures of the elusive ‘Bieber boner’?

As luck would have it, 15-year old juvenile delinquent and OMGG.com intern Lisa Johnstone admitted she was the one who swiped the singer’s Sony Vaio after attending the Washington concert.

When we announced that we’d be releasing an exclusive naked photo, one man seemed even more distraught than Biebs himself.

“The timing of my conviction couldn’t be worse…there’s no internet access in here!” cried recently-jailed pedophile Jerry Sandusky. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

Yesterday afternoon, Donald Trump demanded via Twitter that Joe Girardi take slugger Alex Rodriguez out of the starting lineup for the team’s playoff series against the Baltimore Orioles.

Girardi refused, and Rodriguez went 0-3 with two strikeouts in the game.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, A-Rod was finally pulled in favor of Raul Ibanez, who immediately launched a home run to send the game into extra innings. The 40-year old Ibanez then won the game in the bottom of the 12th with another solo blast.

After the game, team owner Hal Steinbrenner lauded Trump’s brilliance, naming him the ball club’s general manager heading into next season.

The eccentric billionaire wasted no time trimming payroll.

“In addition to cutting Jeter’s salary in half, I’ll be turning the owner’s box into a luxury condo,” Trump told OMGG.com. “If you have any further questions, please ask our team’s press secretary and Celebrity Apprentice season nine winner, Bret Michaels.

After holding his own in the first debate against President Obama, Mitt Romney is getting cocky.

“At this point, I can’t imagine a scenario in which I’ll lose,” the former governor of Massachusetts told OMGG.com. “On October 16th, I could take a dump on the podium and still win over undecided voters.”

The 65-year old is so confident, he announced plans to attend the Hofstra University town hall without pants on.

“He’s brash, ignorant and his policies set women back 50 years,” said MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow. “That being said, he’s earned my vote with overwhelming sex appeal.”

Former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky was sentenced to 30 years in prison this morning after being convicted on 45 counts of child sex abuse.

But despite reports, not all of his victims were children.

“Jerry’s constant fondling is what led to my drinking problem,” said Ted, star of the self-titled film available on DVD and Blu-ray December 11. “He used to bring me in the bath with him and use me as a loofah.”

The real-life teddy bear told OMGG.com he eventually decided to undergo a painful surgical procedure to end the abuse.

“I had a friend stitch up the hole underneath my tail,” admitted Ted. “I was getting sick and tired of being a ‘stuffed‘ animal, if you know what I mean.”