BREAKING NEWS: Tim Tebow is Jewish
Thinking he’d be more marketable as a wholesome, Christian athlete, Tim Tebow’s parents decided to hide their son’s dark secret. He’s Jewish.
Tebow, real name Tim Tebowitz, came clean today at the Denver Broncos’ training facility, where the 24-year old was busy preparing for his first playoff game.
“The torah teaches us to ‘guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully’,” the quarterback told OMGG.com. “I learned that at my Bar Mitzvah.”
If the Broncos defy the odds and somehow make the Super Bowl, Tebow will have a tough decision to make.
“February 5th is Tu B’Shevat, a Jewish holiday that marks the beginning of a ‘New Year for Trees’,” Rabbi Goldstein, Tebow’s mentor, explained. “It is recommended that men take that day off from work.”
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