Desperate Lakers Replace Entire Roster With Asians
There’s no question that the Lakers have been underperforming all year. If the playoffs started today, Los Angeles would be the fifth seed in the Western Conference, far worse than expectations going into the season.
Feeling they needed to do something drastic for a title shot, general manager Mitch Kupchak began trading his players one-by-one yesterday, including shipping superstar Kobe Bryant to Japan in exchange for Tokyo Tigers journeyman Kaito Takahashi.
“With the success of Jeremy Lin, management thought an all-Asian squad might help get us going,” said head coach Mike Brown. “Am I the only one who finds this whole thing a bit racist?”
The Lakers debuted their new-look team last night with little success, falling 128-11 to the lowly Charlotte Bobcats.
“We definitely need a little time to mesh,” point guard Jackie Chan admitted. “The good news is, I read online today that I already have the top-selling jersey in the NBA!”
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