Banned From Cycling, Lance Armstrong to Try Weightlifting

Lance Armstrong says that being stripped of his Tour de France titles has him seeing red.

“My impossibly-low body fat percentage is a result of P90X,” explained the 40-year old. “All these false accusations have me experiencing some sort of PED-free roid rage.”

Armstrong told OMGG.com that he plans to channel all his anger into a bodybuilding career.

“The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency can keep my seven cycling titles,” said the banned biker. “I plan on winning at least that many Mr. Universe trophies by the time I’m done.”