Kate Middleton

With all the hoopla surrounding her recent topless photos, Kate Middleton needed a vacation.

“I took her to Washington, DC last night, where we met up with our good friends Barack and Michelle,” Prince William announced on his Facebook page. “We enjoy traveling to the U.S. occasionally, just to get away from the paparazzi.”

Unfortunately, OMGG.com learned that things got heated between Middleton and Mrs. Obama today when the 30-year old showed up to a White House luncheon without her shirt on.

“That might fly in the South of France, but she was setting a terrible example for Malia and Sasha,” the First Lady told us. “That sort of behavior hasn’t been appropriate since Bill Clinton left office over 10 years ago.”

It appears that Kate Middleton isn’t the only mynx in the monarchy.

OMGG.com has learned that French paparazzi also snapped topless photos of Queen Elizabeth last week while she vacationed in the South of France.

Closer magazine, the tabloid that caused a stir by publishing Middleton’s Girls Gone Wild moment, was ordered not to circulate images of the head of the Commonwealth of Nations’ “royal rack.”

“A 2007 amendment to the constitution of the United Kingdom dictates how this great country is governed,” ruled Judge Colin Hornett of the London High Court. “That statute states that nude photos of any woman older than Helen Mirren is a clear violation of British law.”

After topless photos of Kate Middleton were published in a French magazine this week, the Queen finally revealed an ancient Royal Family secret.

“We’re tired of living a lie,” Her Majesty told OMGG.com. “The British Monarchy has embraced the nudist lifestyle since the late-1800s.”

London resident Grahm Atfield says that after seeing Prince Harry’s naked romp through Vegas, nothing surprises him.

“It’s a bit upsetting that our tax dollars are bankrolling their care-free lifestyle,” Atfield told us. “But it’s not really worth raising a stink unless more photos of Prince Philip’s dong leak online.”

Kate Middleton can’t get enough of her naked brother-in-law.

The Duchess of Cambridge is said to be “very impressed” by the naughty redhead’s Las Vegas pictures, which isn’t sitting well with her uptight other half.

Prince William is said to be jealous of the way his wife gets giggly in the company of Harry and his enormous royal rod.

“Kate has a crush on my brother, but it’d be hypocritical to get mad,” Prince William told OMGG.com. “After seeing Pippa in a bathing suit last week, I realized I married the wrong sister.”

Pippa proudly packs a pistol permit.

OMGG.com has learned that the 28-year old socialite joined the National Rifle Association today, sparking outrage across Great Britain.

Middleton claims she’s just protecting herself from the hordes of paparazzi that follow her everywhere she goes.

“Whenever someone points a camera at me, I’m going to point something back,” said the Duchess of Cambridge’s younger sister. “I may even move to Florida, where it’s apparently ok to shoot first and ask questions later.”

Kate Middleton may be in need of some royal rehab.

The Duchess of Cambridge, who turned 30 on Tuesday, decided to really let her hair down at a private celebration inside Buckingham Palace yesterday.

OMGG.com has learned that Middleton got a bit unruly, at one point calling a cocktail server “bitch tits” after learning the bar had run out of Patron Silver.

“No one had a problem with the excessive drinking at first,” said Susan Hussey, Baroness of North Bradley. “But things got really uncomfortable when Kate began doing body shots off Prince Harry’s chest.”

All hail the (future) queen!

Kate Middleton recently attended London’s War Horse premiere in her most provocative outfit to date.

The lace and leopard-print ensemble is the talk of the town in fashion circles across the UK.

“I’m honored that she chose to wear it to my film,” gushed director Steven Spielberg. “I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about Kate that gives me a royal boner.”

All over Great Britain, there has been one question on everyone’s mind this holiday season — what will Kate Middleton get her famous mother-in-law, Queen Elizabeth, for Christmas?

“I mean, what do you get the woman who has everything?” Middleton asked. “In the end, I went with a customized Snuggie. It came down to that or a set of Shake Weights.”

OMGG.com spoke with the Queen, who didn’t seem very appreciative.

“I know it’s the thought that counts,” said Her Majesty. “But I bought that girl a pair of six-carat diamond earrings, and she had the audacity to give me a backwards bathrobe?”