NBA

When Kobe Bryant proclaimed that this year’s Olympic basketball squad would beat the fabled 1992 Dream Team, Michael Jordan admits he was shocked at first.

“I thought to myself, ‘We had 11 Hall of Famers on our team, including some of the NBA’s all-time greats’,” His Airness told OMGG.com. “But after watching the likes of Tyson Chandler and James Harden dominate Lithuania by five, I realized Kobe was on to something.”

While the 1992 squad defeated its opponents in Barcelona by an average of 44 points, they never proved they could overcome adversity by churning out gritty, seven-point victories like the 2012 team did in the London gold medal game.

“We had some fine players in Magic Johnson, Larry Bird and Karl Malone,” said Dream Team member Charles Barkley. “But nothing strikes fear into an opponent like hearing he’ll be going head-to-head against the legendary Andre Iguodala.”

After they squeaked by Brazil in an exhibition game yesterday, Barack Obama admitted he doesn’t have much faith in this year’s USA Olympic basketball team.

In fact, the president told ESPN that the 1992 Dream Team was unquestionably a better group of players.

OMGG.com caught up with Donald Trump, who says he wasn’t at all surprised by the POTUS’ lack of faith in the Americans.

“Of course he insulted the US team,” said the combed-over billionaire. “He’s clearly rooting for Kenya, since that’s where he was born.”

Amare Stoudemire was expected to miss Game 3 of the playoffs after cutting his hand punching a glass case following a loss to the Miami Heat.

Unfortunately, it looks like the New York Knicks star will now miss the entire series.

While visiting the Bronx Zoo with his girlfriend last night, the 29-year old power forward had his arm gnawed off by a lion after he jumped into its cage.

“I’m disappointed by the lack of support I’ve gotten for my latest injury,” Stoudemire told OMGG.com. “New York fans really are the toughest in the world.”

When Derrick Rose tore his ACL, many assumed the Chicago Bulls’ playoff run was over.

Not so fast.

Last night, team owner Jerry Reinsdorf had ligaments removed from underachieving center Joakim Noah’s left knee and implanted into Rose’s.

Noah isn’t happy that his season is done, but understands why the transplant was necessary.

“Derrick Rose is our MVP, we’re screwed without him healthy,” said the floppy-haired 27-year old. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to win a championship.”

The NBA’s Nets are moving out of the doldrums of Newark, New Jersey and into a new, billion-dollar stadium in Brooklyn, New York.

With the change of cities comes a new logo, and team minority owner Jay-Z graciously stepped in to design it.

While critics have panned the artwork, calling it “the worst in the league,” Jay-Z told OMGG.com that something drab is exactly what he was going for.

“It’s black and white, boring and hard to look at,” said the rapper/entrepreneur. “I think it really embodies everything our team is about.”

OMGG.com finally found something Allen Iverson dislikes even more than practice — wealth management.

Against the advice of his financial planner, the 36-year old famously supported a posse of nearly 50 friends for over a decade, and now can’t afford to pay an $860,000 bill from his jeweler.

The former Philadelphia 76ers guard has blown through an estimated $154 million fortune, but claims he never felt like his friends took advantage of him.

“Those same guys are now helping put food on my table,” claims the 2001 NBA MVP. “In fact, just last week I traded my Olympic bronze medal to my boy Lou for an Olive Garden gift card.”

Lin-credible news out of New York!

Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin, who has taken the NBA by storm after leading his team to six straight victories, finally came clean today…he’s Michael Jordan.

Sporting a Mission Impossible-style mask last night, the faux-Asian led his team to a thrilling, last-second victory over the Toronto Raptors. Lin/Jordan hit the game-winning shot with less than a second left on the clock, sending the sold-out crowd into a frenzy.

“I’ll always be remembered as the greatest player of all time, but that isn’t enough,” Jordan explained to OMGG.com. “I also want to be known as the second greatest.”

So far, 2012 has been kind to Woody Allen. Midnight in Paris is nominated for four Oscars, his one-act play Honeymoon Motel is doing big business on Broadway and at 76-years old, the director announced he has finally found true love.

New York Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin told OMGG.com that Allen approached him with flowers moments after his team beat the New Jersey Nets at Madison Square Garden on February 4.

“He said he wanted to adopt me, which I thought was odd,” Lin confessed. “He was really nervous and fidgety, so I agreed to meet for drinks to calm him down.”

The controversial couple says the relationship has since blossomed into something special.

“Believe me, I understand why some are opposed to me dating Woody,” Lin admitted. “But eventually I think people will be able to see past our age difference.”